dark

summerlove – with audio

I carry all these

years

of summers

in my body

heat, light, salt water

ache and split

like an overripe tomato

knees, wrists and shoulders

stained by the sun

and worn

like old pyjamas

soft, familiar

hoping it will last

the high hum

late and golden

overblown

sighs the end

of another

season

it’s already darker

now

in the mornings

but still

the ghost-warmth

in clothes just

stepped-out-of

on the floor

oh

don’t leave

too soon

please

love

another one

almost done

 

LISTEN! https://soundcloud.com/clairevetica/summer-love

 

Image: Claire Doble

sour weeds

 

it roars in my head when it’s quiet

otherwise

low-level vibes through the walls

of my room

can’t tell if it’s real or a trick

an ear-frequency

of tinnea perhaps

everything smells old

and I’m so tired of sitting with

the best way I know

to self-harm without blood

by running all over things

with the mind

to leave

no visible wound

late at night I feel

crazy?

plan bold things to say

but in the day

just murmur

nice girl, nice, girl, nice girl,

no offence,

like

I always do anyway

while I watch me

fucking up

in the nicest possible way

a child

with a picture inside

that comes out

all shit and nothing like

do you know

that devastation, desperation

utterly impossible

to replicate

the moment of realisation

so much later

and the life

I built

in that far city

failed

a farce, uncoordinated dance

in the dark

reaping the sour seeds sown

grown mundane weeds

and from outside

nothing

shows

 

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@judy_beth_morris_idaho

fishing line

listen to the wind

restless, tepid, tossed free

the babble of summer parties

floats by

I

throw myself like a fishing line

into darkness and back, back

in time to back-lane bins and jasmine

scented evenings

encasing friends

warm drunkeness

bottoms dimpled by

milk crate imprints and the tiny

gravel of old cement

crumbing bare feet

swished aside

long cotton skirts

eyes glance up

that window high

mine

that window high

eyes glance up

long cotton skirts

swished aside

crumbing bare feet

gravel of old cement

milk crate imprints and tiny

bottoms dimpled by

warm drunkenness

encasing friends

scented evenings

in time to back-lane bins and jasmine

into darkness and back, back

throw myself like a fishing line

I

float by

the babble of summer parties

restless, tepid, tossed free

listen to the wind

 

 

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@ross_sokolovski

Light life

Bad dreams of loose teeth again

running in the afternoon

what time is sunset

and bad parenting (my own)

Unplug from one life socket

insert in another room

switch-glitches, kiss, time-tickses

moving on again soon

Old fears of careless Tom and Daisyness

measuring life in coffee spoons

it’s dark already

but no sleeping in til noon

Off-prompt, playing catchup again