It was like a soft night in Melbourne
Or like trains or distant trumpets
Up early to hear birds sooth
A gentle grey sky that sounded blue
I thought about the mountains in my heart-window
How that bright cloud flowed down the saddle
Of the Jungfrau, the real Jungfrau of one thousand poems
Cumulus sitting white and low and lit
Like a lazy dragon’s exhale
I won’t forget
The cow-flavoured, blacksmith-woodfire scent
Noise of building-works nearby
And an early morning’s nostalgic lament
Farewell
There’s all these
small purple flowers
in the forest and the bowers
of neglected front gardens
behind bins and mowers
and I feel like I never saw them before
they probably don’t last long
brave little shoots
growing away insouciant
are they larkspur?
symbol of love, ardent
Life
Goes
On
where the rocks crash
where the shush owls
turn the lights off
swoop, frothover calls
throaty and distraught
no starboard lighthouse
green glass and sheet metal
black box never found
where the waves grind
behind old bedposts
ancient lamps move
inexorable warmth, breath
This poem was inspired by a beautiful and strange poem my good friend Joh from Milk and Motherhood sent me on a postcard once.
I also finally had the chance to use the “shush owls” phrase I was so taken by in one of the NaPoWriMo poems by Kevin J O’Conner
Thankyou both
Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
Dear Clairvetica friends and fans
It’s been a while since I posted one of these. Probably the last one was my New Year goals. A few big changes on the horizon for me.
I will be leaving Switzerland this month. You may have got an inkling of this if you’ve been reading my poems closely. I am very sad to leave and there is so much about this country and my life here for the past 5+ years that I will miss. It’s the place my second child was born, where I started this blog, where I stumbled on the poetry month, which was a gateway to becoming a poet (a label I now wear with pride), where I visited all of Switzerland’s 26 cantons in 52 weeks . It’s where I started running and rejoined the full-time workforce after taking maternity leaves/freelancing.
However, I’m also excited to see what it’s like to “repatriate” myself back in Australia. And I guess you’ll come on that journey with me in the coming months.
Another big change that’s perhaps not so obvious is I stopped drinking at the start of the year. Maybe it’s a bit personal to mention here but it’s been a huge shift in perspective for me. I feel like I’ve gained freedom and new insights and, in some ways, the choice was provoked because I wanted more time / headspace for my writing. So it’s relevant to the blog! This may be an odd thing to say, but getting sober is simple but not easy. They say that those who can moderate their alcohol consumption don’t need to, and those who need to, can’t. For me, 100% is so much easier. Also cos I’m hardcore! Anyway, One thing I’ve found unexpectedly enjoyable about the process is helping others (and being helped – it’s virtually impossible to do on your own, imho). So I’ll put it out there: if it’s something you’re curious about, please do read up on it, reach out to me, or an online group, or anyone. I’m finding life is so much better without booze!
Back to bloggery. I thought about changing the name Clairevetica once I’m no longer a Helvetian resident but, after some contemplation, I’m keeping it. (Also, in a sudden rush of blood to the head one night, I went ahead and bought the domain!) So Clairevetica remains and is actually official now.
Finally – a warm thankyou to all my readers. I really appreciate all your likes and comments and emails so much. Also thanks to the ‘silent’ readers who I know are out there too (well, I think you’re there. Are you there?!). It can feel a bit like “shouting into the void” sometimes so it is lovely to hear from people.
So, that’s it. In terms of writing goals and changes, my subjects and photos might change a bit. I’d love to get back into my novel (always the plan!) … maybe I’ll be doing more freelancing (please contact me about any writing / editing jobs or commissions! Maybe one day I’ll even get amazingly efficient at self-promotion too).
Watch this space.
What will I do
with the view from my window
my own slice of building-behinds
and trees, the Catholic church spire
in the distance like a giant watch
on a pin
and the way the air shakes
every quarter-hour
vibrates
from the Reformation church nextdoor, out of shot
my white room
my tower, not ivory but
maybe sometimes I feel like
I’m in a precious high-up spot,
far from the world
like the empress in Neverending story
flying through space
with warm lights on and
Give me a name, Bastian!
so my domain is remade
I’m really here with dusty piles
of books that may be read
notepads filled with ink
spilled through with words,
lists, oh they just keep flowing
no matter how afraid or sad I get
I have built my life anew
and when I look out at
those trees and backs of flats
the kindergarten playground
where the foxes live
must remember that
it’s all mine, all mine, not owned
just like I carry the Pool of London
turbulent, tea-coloured Thames
strong, with still a whiff
of Elizabethan sweat and
Dickensian toil
the thriving grime of unwashed success
grit of an ancestor locked in
a prison hulk perhaps
so too, this Swiss scene is kept
inside
and yesterday, the trees so green
the fresh young leaves of spring
and did my heart ache with sadness
desolate, or was it merely glad to see
that once again
Photo: Claire Doble
clairevetica 