When I was looking through my blog and paging through some old diaries, I found my list of previous words and have been revisiting those.

Interesting to see which years were ‘on track’ and which ones the wheels fell off a bit (2018 and 2022 I’m looking at you!). I think I’m slowly regaining my equilibrium with this job and trying to slot in some writing again (always!)

This year my word is ‘creativity’ which means finding time for my own creative pursuits, in whatever form – writing, baking, drawing, furniture restoration, decorating, home renovations – and trying to keep at bay the black hole of my job, which seems to suck all the oxygen from the room! Don’t get me wrong, I get a lot of enjoyment out of my work but it’s not ‘for me’ and I need to find a better way to balance that out and not feel resentful and not pour my entire being into a place that just keeps take, take, taking.

I will hit 5 years sober this month. This was a goal of mine. I have to say, I’m feeling a little triggered and wobbly with that. The ‘point’ of sobriety feels dulled. Do I really need to be so hardcore? But then I think of slipping back into regular drinking and all the headaches, illness, self-loathing and additional work I’d have to do… it’s not worth it.

I also said that if it came to the point of drinking again vs. my job, I’d quit.

This is not a very positive post about my current employment is it! I wonder if that’s telling me something?

Funny, I survived for several years without (much) paid work and things were fine, but now I’m back on that hamster wheel, it’s hard to fathom how I could get by without the regular salary.

That said, my husband has been studying and out of paid employment for 2-3 years now, but he’s starting to earn $ again. So that might change things.

We’re also planning to renovate the house we live in this year! Gah.

Oh well. If I can somehow wrangle a way to roughly balance my day-job with my own writing and other creative pursuits, family time and fitness, then I will judge 2024 to be a success!

LIST OF GOALS AND WORDS

2024 goals and words – creativity

2023 goals and words – intuition, conviction, action (this was the year I ran my first marathon)

2022 goals and words – another survival-mode year. I was so slammed by work, my husband’s depression and COVID, while trying to write and stay sober and keep fit, wow.

2021 goals and words – intention (this was the year I started working at the Council)

2020 goals and words – ‘Raw’ and ‘Curious’

2019 goals and words– new and wild (this was the year I got sober and moved back to Australia)

2018 goals – paid job, survival mode, (this was the year I started running)

2017 goals and words – consolidation & realignment

2016 goals and words – small, incremental changes

2015 goals and words – surrender

previous words – don’t rush in where angels fear to tread