Photo: https://unsplash.com/@joelmwakasege


dreamt I fell in love

it was so simple

like a small clear window

didn’t have to search for it

didn’t have to try


your clean, sudden lines

eyes smiling in delight

you said

it’s us now, forever

for however long that lasts

I laughed, and said

you know

I used to find you annoying

with your past life, past wives…


our movie showed a map

we travelled across Tanzania

on the coca-cola croc train

stopping here and there

to refill our canteen


dreamt I fell in love

it was so simple

looked down and it was there

like a small clear window

certainty at last

a strip of perfect light


dreamt I fell in love

oh, come back night


I played around with trying to turn this into a sonnet but it didn’t work so well. Maybe it’s a ‘deconstructed sonnet’.

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@joelmwakasege

Added to dVerse open link night 


  1. Funny. Ideal easy love as a dream? I enjoyed this style. Though love poems, especially betrayed love or unrequited love poems do abound almost as much a beautiful nature poems, this one had a plain fun feel.

  2. Your deconstruction turned out beautifully, Claire and I agree that it is lyrical and song-like. I love the way it has developed from such a simple premise: that falling in love is simple, especially in the lines, with the clarity of the window and the strip of perfect light, that then twists into the ambiguous final line: ‘oh, come back night’.

  3. Sonnet deconstructed, or whatever it is, it is beautiful! Lyrical and tender, but not sloppy. LOL! Just a real gem. repeat reflections were well here. Just lovely.

    I know with me, sonnet form twists my natural voice, into something I don’t recognize. I think the form you wrote in is perfect for the story.

    1. – oops. Hit send too soon! Was trying to say that when i tried to sonnetise (!) It just sounded really trite. Thanks for your comments 🙂

  4. The personal touch, as much as in your notion of not sonnetising it, makes your writing both accessible and delightful to read. I look forward to reading more of your works, Claire.

Leave a Reply to Beverly Crawford Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s