Things I do miss about London

Love London

I was in London over the weekend for just 24 hours and I think I’m finally ready to talk about some of the stuff I do miss about the auld town. I wrote quite a long time back on the Things I Don’t Miss About London. And, to be honest, I don’t spend a lot of time pining over the place.

Now, there’s no point in me talking about gherkins, bridges, royal palaces or the London Eye. You can read about all that stuff at my old stomping ground www.visitlondon.com. I’m talking about the real, nitty gritty things you miss about a place you lived in for several years. The stuff that gets under your skin (or under your fingernails and up your nose, if we’re talking about Tube-grime). So anyway, without further ado, here’s

What I miss about London:

The energy – there’s an undeniable buzz to London, that’s somehow enhanced by

The grittiness – the sand in the oyster? I don’t know. There’s something romantic about a bit of grubbiness and peeling around the edges, something “real”. Or is that just me? Particularly on

The houses – streets and streets and miles and miles of terraced homes. Some are immaculate. Most aren’t. Oh the humanity, and

People – people everywhere. You’re never really alone in London. It can be claustrophobic. It can feel safe and comforting. And fun. Also

Conversations – I forget about the vicarious thrill of overhearing conversations. Even the inane ones as some geezer quizzes a shop owner on the merits of a certain firework. “So how long does it larst?” “Fifteen seconds eh? Not vewy long then… Wot about this one?” I think I just enjoyed being able to understand the language. You also get good chat at

The pub – London pubs are so great. They can be like a big loungeroom full of all your mates. Because everyone has small houses or flats, these are the meeting spots, the melting pots. There’s nothing quite like it in Zurich. Or Sydney for that matter.

Uber – wow – what a revelation. Cheap(ish) cab rides got even cheaper and easier. Can I miss something that didn’t exist when I lived there? Also falls into the category of

Cheap shit – London is cheap compared to Zurich. Believe it. Food, toiletries, taxis (see above), clothes, the list goes on.

North London – in all its ridiculous so-crappy-but-everyone-thinks-it’s-great glory. Some bits are lovely, some bits are astoundingly nasty. But… kid-friendly shops, cute cafes, pubs, restaurants, parks and streets full of families and Hot Young Things and gangstas and dogs and bikes all just muddling along with such diversity but somehow a cohesive community and it works. Or doesn’t. I don’t really know how to explain it.

Anything, Anywhere, Anytime – The Goodies‘ motto works well for London. Once Himself said he liked Joaquin Phoenix because he “looks like you could take him to bed and he’d do whatever you wanted”. London is the Joquin Phoenix of cities: ugly-beautiful and up for it. Which brings me nicely to my final point 😉

My friends – nuff said.

PS: Just realised I also wrote a preemptive post about What I’ll Miss as one of my earliest entries! I see Cheap Stuff and My Friends make both lists, ha ha.

Räbeliechti

Yesterday was our first participation in Räbeliechti. This Swiss Halloween-ish tradition involving turnips (Räben) seems kind of like what *Halloween should be, or maybe was back in the good old days before crazy over-Americanisation and ridiculous amounts of sweets and horror-masks and people dressing as the victims or perps of gruesome crimes because that’s so funny! (Er, OK so I have a bit of a problem with some of this stuff – but I guess that’s a blog post for another time).

But I digress – Räbeliechti- involves children carving turnip lanterns and then going on a procession with them through the streets in the Räbeliechtiumzug, while singing songs. It’s mostly for kids but of course the adults troop along too and belt out the choons (assuming they know the words!) The biggest Räbeliechtiumzug in Switzerland happens in the town of Richterswil about halfway down Lake Zurich at Richterswil Raben Chibli with up to 20,000 visitors attending and 30,000kg turnips used! We had our local version last night.

It started with the Räben schnitzen (turnip carving) at my son’s Kindergarten. Parents, grandparents or a family friend were invited to come along for an hour in the morning and given instructions on how to do it. We were told to BYO spitziges Messer (sharp knife), Ausstechförmli (cookie cutter shapes) and Aushöler (melon baller to scoop out the turnip flesh).

Turnips for carving at the Kindergarten

I went along and slightly messed up the carving due to realising too late that you’re not meant to carve all the way through the turnip, like with a jack-o-lantern, but rather carve the shapes and leave a thin film of turnip flesh on those sections so the light shines through prettily but is protected from wind etc. Oh well – I paid close attention to the Schweizer Grossvater (Swiss grandad) at our table doing a very profesh job and will nail it next year! Anyway, our Räbe didn’t look half bad, if I do say so myself.

Our carved turnip

Now, for the Räbeliechtiumzug – the parade. This was really sweet. The kids (and parents) met at the Kindergarten at 6.15pm to light the candles in their turnips. Then the Kindergarten teacher led the procession (kids in pairs, holding their Räbeliechti) to the local school ground where we met up with about a dozen other groups of kids from all the Kindergartens nearby.

Räbeliechtiumzug

Once the groups had gathered, we all paraded en masse to the area’s forest park, singing the Räbeliechti songs all the way. I have literally never seen our local streets so packed with people! It was so lovely to see all the differently carved Räbeli lighting up the darkness with the kids so serious about holding them and singing away. Once we got to the park, there was a huge bonfire (they love making fires outdoors in Switzerland, big time). Everybody gathered around and sang the songs again (there were 3 or 4 official ones).

The bonfire in the woods

Finally, Kürbissuppe (pumpkin soup) was served (BYO mug) and everyone stood around chatting and/or playing in the heaps of autumn leaves on the ground, then we headed for home (around 8pm). Not sure why it was pumpkin soup rather than turnip – although I guess turnip soup is pretty gak. So there you have it: sweet songs**, community spirit, home-made turnip candle holders with pretty, flickering lights, and not a scary mask in sight. I love this Swiss tradition!

Love Räbeliechti!

*In fact, we also enjoyed Halloween last week because, as a sad old goth, I love making costumes and dressing up (and probably should enjoy the dark stuff a bit more and yet, and yet… it’s often done in such a non-thinking way… anyway, leave it).

**I should also add that I get that Halloween / Samhain (and probably Räbeliechti) is not really meant to be sweet. As a celebration embracing (or warding off) the impending winter and the time of year when the gap between the world of the living and that of the dead is narrowest, this occasion reminds us of our mere mortality and is about bringing our feeble human light to the darkness and feasting against the cold and hunger that possibly lies ahead. But also: abundant food, heaters and penicillin Mofos so… yeah enough with the lollies already!

Bern

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I took a turn

to Bern

The bears

weren’t there

Oh durn

I met a friend

I’d only penned

previously

it was she

who works with me

Walked by the Aare

It wasn’t far

from town

But steeply down

Lucky there’s a cable car…

It was broke!

So we walked and spoke

Talked shop

(tho sometimes stopped

to make a joke)

Saw the Zytglogge

What a clock

The Bundeshaus

And had the nous

To know when to stop (for coffee)

A lovely day

To get away

From home

And roam

With baby too – hooray!

The Fall

Feeling a bit sad lately for various reasons. But not depressed. It’s full-blown autumn now and I’m finding myself slightly dreading the winter months of cold and dark weather and being stuck indoors. Which is kind of crazy because last year’s winter was actually pretty magical with all the snow. And this year, I’m not even pregnant, which basically sucked last winter. There were lots of blue skies too, although people have told me that’s quite unusual for Zurich.

A freelance job ended recently and it was a bit of a shock. I’m mostly relieved, because the work really wasn’t compatible with my family commitments. But still, it was a rather abrupt and unexpected finish that left me flailing a bit.

It was also a bit annoying because after my recent post musing on work v. German classes had helped me decide I should focus on the German, it turned out the classes I was interested in were booked solid! And then I thought even more about it and figured starting childcare and German all at once would put too much pressure on not just me but the family so I’d decided to leave it for a few months and focus on work. Luckily I have other bits and pieces to do.

My baby is 9 months this week and I’ve just this morning dropped him off at a casual daycare, which should give me a bit of a breather… I thought it would be easier leaving the second child. And it is, in a way. On the other hand, it’s somehow more devastating.

I’m also sad because October is the month I’m usually off to Australia – for the past four years I’ve visited my homeland in October-November. I may have slightly talked myself into this one but it doesn’t stop the fact that… ARrrgghhh!!! I could-should-would be getting on a plane right now!! Instead of golden leaves and crisp breezes, I would have a lilac sea of Jacaranda in soft Sydney springtime. Not to mention the sea itself – that sparkling blue-green ocean, set off by tawny beaches and buff cliffs of Sydney sandstone. And now Facebook is showing memories of me out on the town with my two besties/bridesmaids… Oh, my heart.

Homesickness can take some funny forms though. Out of the blue recently, I got a craving for Iku macroburgers. These meatless mofos were a delicious treat, best eaten when one was hungover or equally ravenous! Anyway, after a bit of frantic googling, I decided to have a crack at making my own. The Iku website lists the ingredients for the tofu fritters, but has no recipes – however I found this approximation on Billie Bites and, with a few modifcations it came up a treat (couldn’t find Aussie-style brown rice, and wanted to include umeboshi vinegar, not that I could find the stuff in Zurich!) I also found a recipe for the steamed buns but since I am not a breadmaker and it would involve purchasing special equipment (ie: steamer) they will have to wait for another day. If ever. My homemade Iku-style tofu fritters and tahini sauce, on a bun and with salad, while not a dead-match, is close enough to quite vividly recall the real thing. Yumm. I was going to post pics but a) They don’t look that amazing and b) I didn’t take any – too busy eating.

Plus there was a mystic ipod moment – while eating them, my ipod on shuffle threw out Crowded House (Weather With You), Cat Power and AC/DC… I dunno, sometimes things just come together.

Now I’m also wondering if it’s time to really have a crack at that novel? There’s so many ideas floating around in my head. My biggest problem is picking one to stick to and then fleshing it out with, hey, actual story, plot, characters (rather than just fancy turns of phrase). I guess now we’ve started this childcare, I might even have time for that too…

Sometimes, I think Autumn is my favourite time of year. The turn of season and the bite of the wind feels like there’s so many exciting possibilities, with that all-so-important dash of melancholy or nostalgia that seems to produce the best art – stir the creative juices. I hope I can capture that feeling and not be too sad as the days close in this year. Maybe I need to also book a plane ticket for Sydney at some point. I don’t know if I can wait until 2017!

Ten Years

You build a life with someone

Half thinking you might go back…

And try again

With someone else? Or alone?

You live a life somewhere

With a semi-subconscious idea

You might return

To spend the time anew: the same years, but in another town

You create two lives with someone

And still quite often ponder

A different existence

If they weren’t around… as though you had the choice

But there’s no do-overs

There’s no need for turning back

There’s only me

and you. Us. Here. With them. The love of my life. x

Zurich after Dark

We’ve managed to go out twice (!) in the past month, thanks to having on-tap babysitters (my in-laws) in town.

It was somewhat of a revelation to experience Zurich after dark on a Friday and Saturday night, respectively. You almost forget sometimes that people are still going out, eating dinner in restaurants, drinking in bars and throwing it about on dancefloors. Anyway, I thought I’d give a couple of mini rundowns because we checked out some great spots and I feel like a few important pieces of the puzzle are now in place – eg: Zurich’s rock and goth bars, ha ha ha!

Friday Night around Langstrasse (Kreis 4&5)

The area around Langstrasse comprises Zurich’s red-light district. I’ve been there during the day and it’s a little grimy but pretty tame. At night, it’s not exactly super-seedy but on a Friday it does have a decent buzz. If I were to compare to Sydney, it’s probably more Newtown or Paddington than Kings Cross. In London – maybe more Islington than Camden. Although I’d have to say it’s on the whole less batshit busy and with fewer falling-about drunkards than Australia or the UK.

We ate dinner at Josef – a restaurant that’s been on our list for a while. This place is pretty trendy. It’s decked out with shiny mosaic tiles and cool, moody b&w posters of 70s punk chicks and Matt Dillon in The Outsiders. And they’re doing the small plates thing that’s so hot right now.

There was a good crowd in the lively bar area near the door and the maitre d’ was refreshingly honest about seating us when we arrived a bit late (after 8pm for a 7.30 sitting because: kids) – “if you sit here, I won’t have to kick you out at 9…” And then when we finished around 10pm, he didn’t hide his glee “oh this is perfect, because someone else has just arrived and wants a table.” heh. There was also an Aussie waitress from Adelaide, so that was cool – there’s not that many Aussies in Zurich so it’s always nice to meet one. I guess half of them work in hospitality (see below.) And she gave us some really good wine recommendations.

The food was good, if not ah-mazing. We went for 3 small plates each (CHF51ea – pricey but normal for Zurich, to be honest, we probably should have gone for 4 plates at CHF62 or the “menu” for CHF67 as we weren’t exactly stuffed afterwards). However, we tried a pretty good selection Cocktails at Blurred (I think!) of the menu. The place was dark(ish) and fairly bustling and we were sat in between two other couples (3 separate tables but not much room between), which was fine, if not the most romantic of settings. However, we enjoyed the ambiance and we really enjoyed our meal.

Would I go back there? Hmm; maybe – I would definitely pop in for a cocktail en route to elsewhere in the area but there’s a few other places I’d rather try before eating at Josef again.

Next up, we trotted along Langstrasse to Mata Hari Bar a tiki-themed rock bar. We sat at the bar, which I love. They had a range of tiki-themed cocktails, which I don’t (rum isn’t really my thing) so I settled for the old standard safe bet Jack Daniels and soda. I’d actually forgotten how much I like JD – in fact, yep, I am practically Slash. Mata Hari was nice, good to know it’s there for next time certain friends visit (Mad Dog I’m looking at you), and I have to say it was possibly the cleanest rock bar I have ever been in. I couldn’t see any frayed upholstery, lifting lino, scuffy decor or anything. Even the toilets were surprisingly neat – with about 3 pieces of graffiti and not even puddles of mystery water to wade through. They didn’t even smell. I had to laugh thinking back to Big Red or The Intrepid Fox.

Feeling as though we were ow end of night ed a cocktail, we trekked further along Langstrasse, under the rail bridge, to the Kreis 4 end. This side was a bit more happening, actually, with kids outside bars and clubs and cars of dudes cruising by in traditional Friday-night-stylee. We stuck our heads in the gin bar Dante but it was about 4-deep to get a drink and we couldn’t be bothered. So we skipped across the road to Total Bar. And it was great. A Lisbon-themed bar a bit like Bar Kick in London but with Lisbon-looking dykey types shaking up neat cocktails and not too crowded. It was also Lisbon prices so we had a couple of cocks apiece. They weren’t the finest drinks I’ve ever drunk but the price was right, the place had a nice feel and, let’s face it, by this time of the evening, we weren’t so picky. Would definitely pop back in to this little gem.

Saturday Nght in Wiedikon (Kreis 3)

For our Saturday night out (a couple of weeks later), we wanted to check out a different area, as well as having a bit more of a special meal, to mark our 10-year wedding anniversary (actually in October but we have babysitters now!). I’d read about Maison Manesse on a Zurich food blog I’ve been following, Zat for Zurich, and it sounded interesting. Himself and I are both kind of foodies who enjoy something a bit different/ molecular gastronomy type shit, so this place sounded like the goods. For dinner, it’s a set menu/degustation and prices were at the high end. We figured it was a special occasion so let’s go the whole hog and were glad we did.

The food was really awesome. I haven’t eaten at El Bulli or anything so maybe this would be a poor imitation, but for us, it really impressed and delighted. It started with an Uzazi seed from South Africa as a palate cleanser. Similar to Sichuan pepper, as you chew it, it sets your whole mouth buzzing, then watering for several minutes. Wow. Next was an appetiser of frozen rocket and chilli guacamole – I love rocket. Then onto the menu proper (complete with Joy Division refs :)). There was hardly a bum note in all seven dishes. Each course was served on its own unique plate that was matched to the dish, rather than each other. Stand outs were the 63-degree egg that morphed into a delicious nutty goo almost like satay sauce; a porcini mushroom with chuño – a Peruvian potato product; the scallop and the dessert – a fried apple thing that tasted like the best waft of donut-scent at a funfair. The meal ended with an extra dessert thing from the kitchen (what is that called? Dessertpetizer?) of marshmallows and fruit gels. You toasted the mallow at the table – a cute Swiss twist in the country that adores raclette, fondue and all forms of table grilling!

We got chatting to Fabian, the founder/chef, when our meal was over and of course he is half Aussie (and half Swiss). When we asked about the marked presence of Peruvian ingredients on the menu, he said it was due to a trip he’d done there a few years back that really blew him away and that he’s basically the only guy in Zurich using a lot of these flavours. The cellar was also impressive, with a spreadsheet wine list describing around 400 varieties. There were bottles for CHF1,500 on there. Suffice to say, we chose something a little more modest. I discovered only today – after the fact – that Maison Manesse has a Michelin star. So I’m impressed we even got a table, considering I booked it on Thursday for the Saturday night… love Zurich! Would I go back there? Yes definitely. The menu completely changes every couple of months, too.

Afterward we walked around the corner to check out Zurich goth bar Bonesklinic which was like every goth bar, ever. Groups of dark-clad, pierced and interesting-haired friends getting drunk on beer, wine and shots, etc. They talked to each other and completely ignored us. So far, so normal. It was decked out inside a bit like a mobile home: cheapo wood panelling and tartan-upholstered booth seating, albeit with many alpine drinking horns hung everywhere. But they were playing Queen. And they gave us a free welcome shot in a plastic skull. And the smokers out the front were extremely quiet and well behaved. I didn’t check out the toilets but I bet they were clean and had toilet paper. So a bit of a departure from, say, the Dev of old in Camden – with its SECRIFICE MYSELF TO YOU Jesus and Mary Chain graffiti in the horrible loos that I must have spent at least 5 hours of my life looking at if you add up all the time we spent in there. Heh. Would I return? Depends who I was with and where we were off to – it’s a little off the beaten track but if an appropriate gig was nearby, or if/when I manage to befriend some of the local goth kids: sure!

But I digress. 2 fancy, foodie Zurich restaurants: tick. Rock bar: tick, Lisbon lesbian bar: tick. Goth bar: tick. Can’t wait for our next night out!

21 unexpected benefits of being a sleep-deprived mother of two

I get things done in a crazy adrenaline rush with the idea that it might give me time for a nap later. Today I dropped my eldest at Kindy, took the empties to the bottle bank and completed my grocery shopping by 9am. I never take a nap later.
I give less fucks about attempting my abominable German in shops now, and then switching halfway through to English anyway. Haben sie putzessig? Um… you know… für… putz-er-(mumble, mumble) cleaning?
Sometimes I don’t even bother putting on makeup before leaving the house. This is a big deal for me.
Likewise, I tend to choose one outfit and wear it all week. Maybe a fresh top here and there. Fuck it. Who am I trying to impress?
When my husband’s away, I can get both kids through dinner-bath-story-bed in about one hour flat. If he’s around to help, it takes 3. Once they’re down, it’s wine o’clock.
That said, I drink less. I just can’t handle the hangovers when I’m up several times in the night and there’s no lie-ins. So that’s a health benefit.
I’m thin from all the anxiety. I may look haggard, I may eat poorly, but I am thin. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate that.
Trips to the basement laundry room, rather than being a chore, are now a delightful “me-time” mini-break. Ditto for showers. 5 minutes when I can’t hear if someone’s chewing on the power cords or stealing each other’s toys. Bliss!
When I see my friends, I can download information about everything I’ve been thinking, feeling and doing for the past week in about 30-minutes flat while we’re both kid-wrangling. My friend then does the same. We’re like socialising supercomputers. Or something.
If I think I can hear my kid crying in the Kindergarten playground (it’s right next door to my house), I “just walk away” – maybe my heart is breaking but I gotta be callous and let him work it out himself. I’m so tired anyway: fuggeddabouddit.
I used to be great at remembering birthdays, sending cards etc. Now they just whizz by and I don’t bother. Meh. Does the world need more Hallmark? I think not.
Emails from friends are precious missives – I often read them several times over and look forward to sending my replies. Please write! 🙂
I’ve become so efficient at clothes shopping – nup, nup, nup, yep that’ll do. At the moment, I no longer even consider dresses (because: breastfeeding), shoes with heels, “office wear”, anything with tight sleeves (can’t heft a baby with constricted arms) or anything too tight really, straight skirts (can’t sit on the ground), plain tops (show too much dirt), etc. It makes shopping very efficient, if rather boring. I don’t shop much for myself anymore.
A night out is so rare, I get stupidly excited. I can’t believe I used to take this for granted! It’s almost worth having no social life in exchange for how wonderful it feels when I do finally get to go out of an evening. Almost.
The precarious loveliness of small overtures – two playdates, a few yoga classes, a lot of information-sharing about our kids, and we’re becoming friends. We’re all just hanging by a thread, it feels like sometimes we just catch each other by the fingertips before one of us slips through the net.
The look another mum gives you when you think you might have gone too far, but it’s fine because we’re all so exhausted and we understand.
I’ve only got time to “play it forward” – I can’t remember enough day-to-day to return favours and I’d like to think we’re all helping each other as and when it’s needed. Plus, it’s SO NICE when it comes back around.
A true appreciation of the money vs. time/effort equation. Here in Switzerland I call it the “Going to Germany” conundrum (cheaper prices, but more time and effort).
I’m learning to switch off my phone and shut down the laptop and try to spend “quality” time with the kids… um not right now as I’m writing this, obviously.
Getting better at saying “no” or, at the very least, “not now”. It’s still hard and I don’t like it. But the saying-no-anxiety seems to melt away quicker with so much else on my plate!
My emotions are much closer to the surface. I cry easily, whether it’s due to happiness, sadness, anger or stress. When I do something enjoyable (sightseeing, swimming, a good conversation, dinner out) I really love it. I may be finally learning to acknowledge my emotions. It’s a crazy time. I wouldn’t swap it.

St Gallen

Another day, another day trip. I took my in-laws up to St Gallen this week and it was simply stunning. Autumn in Switzerland can deliver these crisp, sunny days with amazing dark blue skies. It was warm in the sunshine but cool in the shade – perfect weather for sightseeing, really!

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We visited the Stiftsbibliothek – where no photos are allowed. I don’t quite know how to convey how awed I was by this place. Having studied Medieval History and medieval manuscripts at university, I felt quite moved to visit this ancient library. They had texts there from Charlemagne and the Bishop of Wurms – stuff I’d read about and written essays on! Seeing the illuminated scripts (under glass) in this environment really gave a wonderful impression of how it might have been as a monk back in the day in the presence of all these incredible books. I think I’m actually still processing what I saw and the enormity of it. Texts dating back to 800-900 – those early middle ages are such a fascinating time. Wow.

St Gallen is a small(ish) town in the mountains with a beautifully preserved medieval main square (Gallusplatz) encompassing a UNESCO world heritage site. In the old town centre, many buildings feature ornate oriel windows dating back to the late middle ages (shades of The Name of the Rose – a book I also read while at uni, thankfully at the time I knew the most Latin!). Apparently the oriel windows were a sign of wealth and St Gallen has some of the best/most examples of them around.

We also visited the cathedral/ the Dom. I’m always taken with just how different the impression you get of a church is from the outside compared to how it “feels” when you step in. This place was a serene, baroque fancy, all decked out in soft green-painted plasterwork and gold leaf. You get the feeling there’s still no shortage of cash in and around St Gallen! The green colour was reminiscent of copper roofs (which many churches have) or tree moss, so gave a lovely sense of the outdoors inside. And it was so light. Just beautiful.

I really enjoyed our trip to St Gallen (1.5hr by train from Oerlikon).

Rheinfall

I’ve had my in-laws here this month and we’ve done some great day trips so I thought I’d post a couple of photo blogs for the 3 people who read this that aren’t Foolbook friends…

This was our visit to the Rheinfall (Rhine Falls) – the largest waterfalls in Europe. Even at what is probably the lowest ebb of the year, the sheer volume of water was impressive. It would be amazing to go back in spring when all the snowmelt is pouring down! Also for 1 August (Swiss National Day), they have fireworks above the Rheinfall, which would be something to see!

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What will work?

I haven’t had much time for this blog lately. Life has definitely got in the way! It feels like a new chapter in my Zurich life is beginning – or maybe it’s already begun. And that chapter is loosely titled: Work

I’ve been doing bits and pieces of work for a while, of course. Maybe I never really stopped. I seem to remember submitting in a very scattered piece of writing the week before I gave birth (thankfully salvaged by a kind editor who was aware of the situation and forgave not being up to my usual standards!) and I’ve been chipping away at various things ever since. Including taking on quite a lot (too much!) freelance while Himself was away for a month. It kept me sane. Or rather, helped me feel insane in a reassuringly familiar way.

But now things seem to have ramped up a notch. The baby is 8 months this week (time flies!) and I’m ready to put some regular childcare in place and increase, or at least formalise, my workload.

But

What about those German classes? I did a few back-of-envelope calculations this week during some much-needed downtime (thanks to Himself and the in-laws being around) and, well… I find myself in a bit of a quandary. Assuming I can find a childcare place for the baby (I’m thinking half-days at this stage) should I use that time to work, or to learn?

Work it, baby

Picking up my German studies again is something I’ve been trying to do since I stopped prior to our Australia trip last October. It’s been a year. Oddly, despite thinking I’m “going backwards” by forgetting some of what I learnt, I actually feel more confident to bust out some Deutsch lately. Maybe it’s just my brain is so full of other stuff I have to give less fucks about being embarrassed. Tiny things like making myself say “Ich habe ein termin mit Laura” at the hairdresser instead of “I have an appointment with Laura” – which they would totally understand of course, but it’s so much better to attempt German. (and I’m sure I got tenses, articles and spellings wrong there, but the point is, I should say it anyway). Because otherwise, I just speak English and then I hear English in reply and how does that help?

And working is… work. I dunno. I’ve always worked. I like it. I get a lot of my personal identity out of the work I do. Maybe (probably) I identify more with being a writer-and-editor than I do with being a mum, for better or worse. I’ve done the latter for much longer, after all. So there’s that. Versus being a student, which I’m not exactly bad at, but maybe not great at either. I don’t know if I enjoy learning as much as… doing? Doing my job? Doing a job. Being a parent? Maybe I shouldn’t include parenting in the mix. It’s not something I can chose to do or not right now.

So working versus learning. It’s something familiar versus something new and challenging. But the familarity of work also has challenges within it. And, of course, I get paid for working. Whereas I have to pay to learn. Speaking to another expat recently (about a job), she said she didn’t feel 100% at home in Zurich until she joined the workforce here. And I get that.

Work can be fun

Then again, there’s no doubt that learning more German will also help the assimilation process. And it will probably even enhance my career prospects in the long- or medium-term. Hell, maybe even in the shortish term if I can get to the stage where I could do basic translations/editing from German to English (with the help of Google no doubt!).

Work also stresses me. Quite a lot sometimes. Does language learning stress me? I think maybe not so much.

Assuming that I can, and will, work for the rest of my “working life”, but I can probably only learn German now, while we’re here in Switzerland (for however long that may be) I should probably take this opportunity… But if I have to pass on work to do so? Tough one. I guess I want to do a bit of both. But I don’t want to do a bad job on either. Hmm

I also have to give up some parenting time, particularly to do both. It’s quite a juggle. And time with friends? I haven’t yet attempted language learning while having a baby so that will also be interesting.

I read a really good article recently – Why Does Learning a new Language Feel Soo Bad? – about how we often feel it’s a moral failing if we haven’t mastered the local language. It really struck a chord with me. I don’t want to tie my self-worth up in German lessons. But I do seem to tie it up in the work I do (and in parenting, and maybe my social life). And now all these things are duking it out for my time. I’m not quite sure where that leaves me.

clairevetica

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What will work?