Month: April 2016

Anonymous

 

 

Oh, the merry maker

The hour taker

The good feeler

The morning stealer

The cheek reddener

The deadener

The stress reducer

Anxiety producer

Music enhancer

The dancer

Whistle wetter

Makes you better

The kisser

Appointment misser

Messy fucker

Topper upper

Friend faker

Thirst slaker

Freedom bringer

Spoil thinger

The best

Dinner guest

Fight baiter

Hangover creator

Occasion marker

Bringer of laughter

Memory eraser

Life hazer

Talk quickener

Make sickener

Space filler

A killer

Inhibition loosener

Love producer

Naughty and nice

My vice

 

Today’s National/Global Poetry Writing Month prompt/challenge was to think of a single thing or person (a house, your grandmother, etc), and then write a poem that consists of kenning-like descriptions of that thing or person.  A kenning is a riddle-like metaphor used in the Norse sagas. Basically, they are ways of calling something not by its actual name, but by a sort of clever, off-kilter description — for example, the sea would be called the “whale road.”  

How to be happy

Have children, they make your life complete

You’ll learn more from them than they ever will from you

As long as you use these parenting methods… no, wait

Don’t have children, they’ll ruin your lifestyle

They bring joy but also pain and annoyance

 

Find your dream job

Unlikely?

Don’t work. It sucks. We support you.

Find something fulfilling to do that is not-work

Maybe parenting?

 

Think big

Or give up your dreams. Both will have similar results on net happiness within 3%

Be a good wife/mother/daughter while perusing your dreams

Understand that the dreams of your 30s and 40s are not the same as those of your teens and 20s

But think back to what you loved doing as a child and do that

 

Exercise regularly

Make time for yoga and/or pilates

Practise mindfulness

Limit screen time

Take some me time. Where did all the time go?

 

Get your body back after childbirth

But make sure you breastfeed for around 4 years (world average!)

Some of those long-breastfeeding societies may also still smack their kids

Or practise female circumcision

Don’t do that

 

Travel – it broadens the mind

Always be aware of your carbon footprint though

Also spend time on not-travel, because travel can be stressful

And expensive

You need to switch off!

 

Banish negative thoughts, anxiety and judgement

Although, since those thoughts are part of you,

Observe them, but let them pass you by, like cars on a highway

Not real cars of course

Too polluting. Just like those negative thoughts. You don’t want to get cancer

 

Learn a new skill

With all that spare time you have

Explore astrophysics.

Teach yourself German

Sehr gut

 

Avoid banks and call centres

unless you work in one.

It’s not the worst job, right?

Be the best middle-manager you can be

Job satisfaction is important!

 

Shop local

Buy beautiful, artisanal, unique products

Like everyone else

You’ll notice a big difference when the producer really cares

But save by getting the basics from Lidl, Aldi and Ikea

 

Be careful using your card details online

As a good, global e-commerce citizen

Shopping online reduces your carbon footprint!

And it’s so quick

Cheaper, too

 

Eat organic, local, seasonal products

Even if organic is just damned lies and marketing

Watch those food miles, even though your smartphone is from Korea

With components sourced by slaves

(I know. I know… But I need it)

 

Cut out sugar and trans fats

Except the occasional treat – you deserve it!

Or if you’re really sleep deprived

I think pulled-pork on a brioche bun with hand-cut chips is OK

But a Big Mac Menu is not

 

Care about the environment

Sign petitions and Donate here!!!

It feels so good to give something back

The pebbles in my garden come from a mine in India but

I buy dolphin-friendly tuna

 

Plant a garden

Bake a cake, learn to knit, jump into a mountaintop jacuzzi

Do some adult colouring-in

Spend quality time with everyone you know, and your kids, and don’t forget to factor in some me-time

Once you achieve all this, there is no excuse not to be happy

 

Today’s National/Global Poetry Writing Month prompt/challenge was to write a didactic poem that focuses on a practical skill. I hope I’ve covered all the tips for a happy life here, but if I’ve forgotten anything, please let me know in the comments below… 

In Adelaide

 

 

Try to remember what my nana, Floss, would say

Someone’s telling a story and she’s amazed

It wasn’t “fancy” or “I’ll be blowed”

Maybe it was “nev-er!” or “say it’s not so”?

I think it was “true” — either question or statement.

And what of my childish chat, no abatement?

As she worked like billy-oh to run the house smooth

I’d follow, try to help, mostly intrude

(strife, kids are prolific)

She’d listen and grin and ’twas always: “Triffic!”

 

Today’s National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) prompt/challenge was to think back to your childhood, and the figures of speech and particular ways of talking that the people around you used, and which you may not hear anymore.

Zurich Almanac

Have I written a poem about Zurich yet?

Has the place sunk far enough into my subconscious?

The poetry strata: down where the dinosaur fossils lie

a Jurassic stanza, incorporating the city’s ancient guilds

 

The dull colours of conservative cool

Sitting in roccoco shop windows and on the shoulders of locals

While Ganymed begs the eagle to mount him “in a Swiss way”

Take him to the mountains, Hubacher must mean…

 

ALL ZÜRI, ALL CHRANK: Schweizerdeutsch I can read

Maybe the church spires inject some with cruel medicine.

I’m vaccinated, indoctrinated, the hot needles of last summer’s heat

Tattooed this city across the skin of hometown memories

 

Nothing in nature can kill you here – mammals, reptiles, fish

Just don’t get caught beneath an avalanche

or those blossoms, heavy with spring, before

they fall to the ground like confetti, like ashes, like tiny pieces of my heart

overflowing.

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was interesting in that it was one I initially did not like the sound of. But, as is often the way, it turned out to be quite inspiring as it wasn’t how I’d normally think to construct a poem.

It was as follows: fill out, in no more than five minutes, the following “Almanac Questionnaire,” which solicits concrete details about a specific place (real or imagined). Then write a poem incorporating or based on one or more of your answers. 

Almanac Questionnaire (I’ve included my answers too)

Weather: wet, usually dry
Flora: heavy with spring blossoms
Architecture: cool modern and roccoco
Customs: polite and on time, can be brusque
Mammals/reptiles/fish: nothing can kill you
Childhood dream: Heidi
Found on the Street: sticks
Export: watches and choc
Graffiti: all zuri, all chrank
Lover: Berlin?
Conspiracy: old zuri guilds
Dress: dull colours of conservative cool
Hometown memory: flooded back in last summer’s heat
Notable person: Jung
Outside your window, you find: church spires and spring
Today’s news headline:
Scrap from a letter:
Animal from a myth: dinosaurs?
Story read to children at night: Schellen Ursli
You walk three minutes down an alley and you find: nature
You walk to the border and hear: italian, french, german
What you fear: the lights going out
Picture on your city’s postcard: Ganymede

Duet

 

http://www.getty.edu/art/collections/images/l/06124001.jpg

Le Violon d’Ingres by Man Ray

 

Body like a viola

Always a string to his bow

Music made with closed windows

Harmonies no one will know

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was to write a poem that incorporates the idea of doubles, because today marks the halfway point in the NaPoWriMo month.

Battery-san

Dead battery

 

Blessed be the batteries

That run dry and die

Annoying at first but when nothing works

It allows a little blessed slattern-y

Dead toys, unbatteried, lazy-lie

A blessed reprieve on paying my bills

My only fear is the batteries lurk

In my pocket like cyanide pills

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was to try a poem called a san san, which means “three three” in Chinese (It’s also a term of art in the game Go). The san san has some things in common with the tritina, including repetition and rhyme. In particular, the san san repeats, three times, each of three terms or images. The seven lines rhyme in the pattern a-b-c-a-b-d-c-d. My three things are batteries, die/dead/cyanide and blessed. (Please excuse my interchange of Chinese/Japanese with the title and pic – how rude!). Besides writing the poems themselves, one of the best things about NaPoWriMo has been learning about and trying out new forms of poems. 

The Fortunate Ones

Respect. Photo: Iain Scott

Respect! You show courage

And sometimes I forget

Your support is like the floor beneath me

I don’t look where I tread

 

Our swirling, whirling life

We never seem to stop

but pause, fleetingly, in slipstreams, shouting:

“We’ve really done a lot”

 

The way you face things, the man you are

And it’s not easy, marriage

I don’t say this often enough:

Respect! You show courage

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge for 13th April was this: the number 13 is often considered unlucky, so today I’d like to challenge you to beat the bad luck away with a poem inspired by fortune cookies. 

Braised

 

Seems old-fashioned to braise

And none of the below

Make me reappraise

This thought. In fact

I’m not even sure on looking

What kind of cooking

Braising actually involves

 

Turnips: Braised and Glazed

Braised Celery – not a felony

Braised Fennel in Meat Juices with Cheese, if you please

Braised Stuffed Trotters, not a lotta demand (surely?)

Ladies and Gentlemen may I present: Braised Tongue with Madeira Sauce, why of course!

Braised Witlof, I shit not

braising

meat

vegetables

Brandied Cumquats… oops I went too far.

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was to write an “ index poem” using found language from an actual index (or you could invent an index, like in this kickarse poem by Thomas Brendler they gave as an example). I used found words from the index of one of my favourite Australian classic cookbooks, Stephanie Alexander, The Cook’s Companion. AND YES I KNOW MY OVEN IS FILTHY!!