poetry

Home is where

Found my heart on a shelf in your home

covered in dust, crumpled behind the piano

a poem

Tracked it across the land wide and brown

buried in cinnamon soil, overlooked by big gum and

charred bush

I know my heart drowned in the sparkling sea

where ozone and froth combine to churn diamond sand

into me

Sniffed out in the warm of your car’s cracked seats

the baked-biscuit-brown smell of hot vinyl

beats

It beats, it beats. I’m defeated

I can’t collect

All the pieces

at once

so I save my tears

in a leather sleeve

hoping

one day

for my heart’s cleave

Day 13 prompt (still catching up): write a poem in which the words or meaning of a familiar phrase get up-ended. I chose “home is where the heart is” as I’m travelling and seeing many people and places who hold pieces of my heart

Bone-deep

Lush green foliage soaked with mature gold sunlight, hot as summer, but death curls frogs and insects like the promise of cold. The centre of our busy lives lit by mosquito smoke as we say, bone-deep and slow: I love you, it will be ok, oh how I miss you when I’m gone.

So briefly exchange

our most precious insights, to

hold love in the abyss

Day 12: Haibun. I have been curious about this form for a while. Not sure I got it right – a prose poem involving nature that ends with a haiku.

Slipper’d dreams

If you dream of a ballet slipper

hanging above the door like a horseshoe

then you’ll always walk alone

Tying a ballet shoe’s ribbons around the ankle

means

you’ve taken on too many commitments

Red shoes that threaten to dance you to death

can suggest either passionate love

or a lack of original thought

The day 14 prompt was to write entries for an imaginary dream dictionary. Pick one (or more) of the following words, and write about what it means to dream of these things: (I chose “ballet slipper”). I have a few more to catch up on but this appealed to me.

Pic: Moira Shearer in The Red Shoes via https://spotlight.picturehouses.com/enchanted-screen/the-red-shoes/

Light life

Bad dreams of loose teeth again

running in the afternoon

what time is sunset

and bad parenting (my own)

Unplug from one life socket

insert in another room

switch-glitches, kiss, time-tickses

moving on again soon

Old fears of careless Tom and Daisyness

measuring life in coffee spoons

it’s dark already

but no sleeping in til noon

Off-prompt, playing catchup again

Jack’s inside

While you’re in the hospital

I’ll eat fish n chips with your offspring in Subiaco

And it won’t seem real to either one of us

Don’t know when I’ll next see you

If you’ll be in the world or still cloistered

with that dim-somehow light of infirmary

which conveys an unreality

oddly yellowish and why must only

the meek in there expect a decent outcome

because out here they say

Go For It and Live Without Fear

and Dance Like No One’s Watching

but that wouldn’t be OK

because you’re high-risk for falls

while we

step easily

across the abyss of clouds and hours

to land safely in another father’s arms

Today’s prompt was write a poem of simultaneity – in which multiple things are happing at once. Since we’ve been here visiting my father-in-law in hospital, while also existing somehow as-normal, it is quite easy (and quite heartbreaking) for me to think about these two, very different, simultaneous realities.

Jetsamina

Image result for arrietty the borrowers

draw the hook up

and catch the spinning load

of fluttering flotsam

drain-smelling of rotting things

peer closer though

it is the diminuative sink-sprite, Jetsamina!

her gossamer wings of silvery vagina-slime

and an evil dark-brown-black dress, mucky with hairballs

cat-breath of pilchard surprise

“I will grant you a single wish”

she gurgles in a voice of soap scum

her demesne: the smelly underworld of sewers and stormwater drains

so

I snap on clammy rubber gloves

make my request

a Borrower’s behest

make me like Arrietty (and Spiller)

tiny, special and deft

we’ll ride the effluent together

Damn the rest!

The Day 8 Glo-Napowrimo prompt was to write poems in which mysterious and magical things occur. I kinda like the idea of mixing the magical with the mundane, even disgusting. I get an odd satisfaction from gross jobs like cleaning the greasetraps in the drains… so I was struck by the idea of a local spirit who might live in there. And I adored Mary Norton’s Borrowers books as a child.

Pic: still from Studio Ghibli’s anime film “The Secret World of Arrietty” sourced from https://lesamantsreguliers.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/arietty-mon-amour-arietty-the-borrower/

Definitions of Power

Woman/ powerful

from: Girl/ vulnerable

White/ powerful (but guilty)

also: Australian/ troubled2nd-classBrit “oh your accent’s not that strong” and I rarely demur

and Gothic/ powerful but a “chosen minority” – remembered hatred from smallminded folk still stings but I enjoy(ed) the provocation

Middle class/ welcome if undeserved

Affluent/ lucky

Intelligent/ powerful because it’s in the accepted way. I’ve come to see there’s so many forms of unrecognised intelligence, it pisses me off this narrow view, I don’t actually think stupidity exists, but ignorance does

(And so very few goths are not white, middle class, intelligent – so)

Tall/ vulnerable but powerful

University educated/ never enough

Mother/ vulnerable – is it necessarily bad?

Londoner/ knowing something

White (again)/ easy

Sister/ love

Friend/ means almost everything

Lover/ undercover

Unworking/ vulnerable; the worst of all

Day 7 prompt: write out a list of all of your different layers of identity. Now divide all of those things into lists of what makes you feel powerful and what makes you feel vulnerable. And make a poem… (edited as I saw fit!)

Gold, Fools

today I saw old scars and heard

new stories about them

gaps in teeth winking like small sequins

while words trickled through that glistened with meaning I tried to catch

like gold panning

they say the precious dust settles to the bottom because it’s heavy

like truth can be a burden and

hard to see among shifting sands and gravel

and maybe if you eat the whole beach and keep on licking the shore that way

seeking truth

your teeth will grind away and your stomach will ache because

there’s a lot to swallow and a body can’t always tell what’s heavy metal or which parts of what you’ve ingested are the righteous words and concepts in the flock

mistakes can be made at cellular level, muddles, cancer is the body attacking itself or growing too fast in one direction like gold fever can kill

(a lie: that truth always sets us free)

it’s as complicated as a whole ocean of shells

and I’m so busy Living in The Moment

I can’t even remember who I was

or wanted to be — don’t ask me for definitive answers — my garbled utterances are the muddy water in the pan and those flecks and facets of shiny stuff could be any damn thing

I think this is probably yesterday’s prompt: (Naprwrimo day 6) to play with line lengths. I’m running a bit behind schedule but hope to catch up soon

Photo: Pineapple Supple Co @Unsplash