poems

How to be happy

Have children, they make your life complete

You’ll learn more from them than they ever will from you

As long as you use these parenting methods… no, wait

Don’t have children, they’ll ruin your lifestyle

They bring joy but also pain and annoyance

 

Find your dream job

Unlikely?

Don’t work. It sucks. We support you.

Find something fulfilling to do that is not-work

Maybe parenting?

 

Think big

Or give up your dreams. Both will have similar results on net happiness within 3%

Be a good wife/mother/daughter while perusing your dreams

Understand that the dreams of your 30s and 40s are not the same as those of your teens and 20s

But think back to what you loved doing as a child and do that

 

Exercise regularly

Make time for yoga and/or pilates

Practise mindfulness

Limit screen time

Take some me time. Where did all the time go?

 

Get your body back after childbirth

But make sure you breastfeed for around 4 years (world average!)

Some of those long-breastfeeding societies may also still smack their kids

Or practise female circumcision

Don’t do that

 

Travel – it broadens the mind

Always be aware of your carbon footprint though

Also spend time on not-travel, because travel can be stressful

And expensive

You need to switch off!

 

Banish negative thoughts, anxiety and judgement

Although, since those thoughts are part of you,

Observe them, but let them pass you by, like cars on a highway

Not real cars of course

Too polluting. Just like those negative thoughts. You don’t want to get cancer

 

Learn a new skill

With all that spare time you have

Explore astrophysics.

Teach yourself German

Sehr gut

 

Avoid banks and call centres

unless you work in one.

It’s not the worst job, right?

Be the best middle-manager you can be

Job satisfaction is important!

 

Shop local

Buy beautiful, artisanal, unique products

Like everyone else

You’ll notice a big difference when the producer really cares

But save by getting the basics from Lidl, Aldi and Ikea

 

Be careful using your card details online

As a good, global e-commerce citizen

Shopping online reduces your carbon footprint!

And it’s so quick

Cheaper, too

 

Eat organic, local, seasonal products

Even if organic is just damned lies and marketing

Watch those food miles, even though your smartphone is from Korea

With components sourced by slaves

(I know. I know… But I need it)

 

Cut out sugar and trans fats

Except the occasional treat – you deserve it!

Or if you’re really sleep deprived

I think pulled-pork on a brioche bun with hand-cut chips is OK

But a Big Mac Menu is not

 

Care about the environment

Sign petitions and Donate here!!!

It feels so good to give something back

The pebbles in my garden come from a mine in India but

I buy dolphin-friendly tuna

 

Plant a garden

Bake a cake, learn to knit, jump into a mountaintop jacuzzi

Do some adult colouring-in

Spend quality time with everyone you know, and your kids, and don’t forget to factor in some me-time

Once you achieve all this, there is no excuse not to be happy

 

Today’s National/Global Poetry Writing Month prompt/challenge was to write a didactic poem that focuses on a practical skill. I hope I’ve covered all the tips for a happy life here, but if I’ve forgotten anything, please let me know in the comments below… 

Duet

 

http://www.getty.edu/art/collections/images/l/06124001.jpg

Le Violon d’Ingres by Man Ray

 

Body like a viola

Always a string to his bow

Music made with closed windows

Harmonies no one will know

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was to write a poem that incorporates the idea of doubles, because today marks the halfway point in the NaPoWriMo month.

Battery-san

Dead battery

 

Blessed be the batteries

That run dry and die

Annoying at first but when nothing works

It allows a little blessed slattern-y

Dead toys, unbatteried, lazy-lie

A blessed reprieve on paying my bills

My only fear is the batteries lurk

In my pocket like cyanide pills

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was to try a poem called a san san, which means “three three” in Chinese (It’s also a term of art in the game Go). The san san has some things in common with the tritina, including repetition and rhyme. In particular, the san san repeats, three times, each of three terms or images. The seven lines rhyme in the pattern a-b-c-a-b-d-c-d. My three things are batteries, die/dead/cyanide and blessed. (Please excuse my interchange of Chinese/Japanese with the title and pic – how rude!). Besides writing the poems themselves, one of the best things about NaPoWriMo has been learning about and trying out new forms of poems. 

The Fortunate Ones

Respect. Photo: Iain Scott

Respect! You show courage

And sometimes I forget

Your support is like the floor beneath me

I don’t look where I tread

 

Our swirling, whirling life

We never seem to stop

but pause, fleetingly, in slipstreams, shouting:

“We’ve really done a lot”

 

The way you face things, the man you are

And it’s not easy, marriage

I don’t say this often enough:

Respect! You show courage

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge for 13th April was this: the number 13 is often considered unlucky, so today I’d like to challenge you to beat the bad luck away with a poem inspired by fortune cookies. 

Braised

 

Seems old-fashioned to braise

And none of the below

Make me reappraise

This thought. In fact

I’m not even sure on looking

What kind of cooking

Braising actually involves

 

Turnips: Braised and Glazed

Braised Celery – not a felony

Braised Fennel in Meat Juices with Cheese, if you please

Braised Stuffed Trotters, not a lotta demand (surely?)

Ladies and Gentlemen may I present: Braised Tongue with Madeira Sauce, why of course!

Braised Witlof, I shit not

braising

meat

vegetables

Brandied Cumquats… oops I went too far.

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was to write an “ index poem” using found language from an actual index (or you could invent an index, like in this kickarse poem by Thomas Brendler they gave as an example). I used found words from the index of one of my favourite Australian classic cookbooks, Stephanie Alexander, The Cook’s Companion. AND YES I KNOW MY OVEN IS FILTHY!! 

Kids I know

kids

Ava, Aria, Annie, Austin, Annabel, Amelia, Alice, Adrien, Arthur, Alexander, Alessandro, Ambrose, Argento

Eva Eve, Ena, Effie, Eliza, Elliot, Elliott, Elias, Eden, Eliana

Isaac, Indira, Isabelle, Indiana, Isla

Otto, Olivia, Oliver, Oscar

Quinn

Milla, Mila, Millie, Mio, Mia, Mira, Max, Molly, Matilda, Matthew, Michael, Magnus, Madeline, Miriam, Melody, Maible

Felix, Harvey, Hope

Tara, Thandi, Thomas, Tias, Theo

Gabriel, Gabrielle, Genivieve, Giselle, Georgie

Donovan, Daphne, Dusty, Dino

Lia, Lara, Leo, Leonie, Leonard, Lily, Lucinda, Luke, LJ

Percy, Peter, Priya

Cleo, Chloe, Calliope, Constance, Caolan, Carter

Ruben, Ruby, Rhoswen, Rory, Raphael

Kaspar

Sylvester, Simon, Sebastian, Sadie, Sas

Wolfe, Will, Vivienne

Jan, Juno, Joe, Beatrix, Bo

Zoe

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was to write a “book spine” poem, which involves taking a look at your bookshelves, and writing down titles in order (or rearranging the titles) to create a poem. I did a slightly different take (and sorry if I forgot anyone!). Might try the book spine poem at some point though.

Gardenia four ways

Gardenia

 

‘Gardenia,’ she sighed

With such pleasurable relish

That we bought the perfume she described.

I still wear it 10 years on

 

Gardenia in the cool shade of morning

On my grandmother’s high verandah

Planes shimmering by in the hot blue sky

that lovely scent, mingling with the frangipani below

 

I spy the handsome dark-green leaves and white flowers

In unromantic IKEA

That smell reminds me of my nana

Me too – of mine

 

We got home and she’d sent a letter

Describing a spider in the garden to her great-grandson

Exactly the sort of story he loves

And the fragrance of gardenia on our tiny terrasse

 

I’m doing National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was to write a flower poem.

Ballet

Once again I’ve started dancing

She says ballet’s good for the soul

The muscles slowly remember

 

But there’s no time to remember

spirits past, future or present while dancing

Full concentration! Maximum participation! Ignore the soul!

 

But perhaps my soul

does remember

Even while body and mind focus on dancing

 

Surely the soul must always remember dancing?

 

I’m giving National/Global Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo) a go – write one poem, per day throughout April. Today’s prompt/challenge was to write a tritina. A tritina involves three, three-line stanzas, and a final concluding line. Three “end words” are used to conclude the lines of each stanza, in a set pattern of ABC, CAB, BCA, and all three end words appear in the final line. This was a good challenge!  🙂

Alison

20160405_090202
She has died
A spot of life and suburban lustre
In the periphery of my childhood

Nailpolish, cigarettes, lipstick, candles
Her small orange Meteor
That sat like a full stop at the end of our street

Her Esoteric book shop. Crystals and tapestry
Jewel colours and sunbursts. Was there macramé too?
It was the 80s

Millie the friendly white Labrador
The hot tub
A plush golden-brown corner lounge

Her bedroom, slightly exotic and the smell
of perfume, makeup, incense, cigarettes (she quit eventually, I think)
And champagne

Sharing a glass of wine with mum
At the end of the day
Now I know how lovely that is
To have a friend
Just down the road
Who’ll chat with you as the kids entertain themselves

Kindness
“She always said she could tell it was me at the door because of the way I knocked with the door knocker which made me feel strangely special”
says James

She once showed us the Godlight
shining through clouds above the ocean – not religious, but holy
I always call it that when I see it now

The holiday houses where we were welcome
Never too neat. Sand underfoot
Just perfect. Goodbye x